Luffy the Crimson Fucker
by FunahoMisaki
Summary: Instead of eating the rubber fruit, Luffy ate a mythical zoan type. The vampire fruit...not just any vampire though. No he ended up eating the Alucard model, the Team Four Star Alucard at that. Now...he's the StrawHat captain and the No Life King who is searching for his Queen who was reborn into a different fruit, one with a secondary ability. But wait...who is it? AU OOC M
1. Chapter 1

**1 Piece Vampire**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and what if instead of eating the Gum Gum fruit…Luffy ate a mythical Zoan fruit? The Banpu-Banpu fruit? In other words…the vampire vampire fruit and not just any model. No he ate the ALUCARD model. Uh..oh…but wait! Who exactly is his reborn mate? AU OOC some bashing and well…Team Four Star Alucard)**

"Ah that was a nice nap." Luffy said with a small grin as he popped out of the barrel he had been in, taking out one of the pirates about to open it by 'accident' and scaring the crap out of the others in the room.

The boy was a little on the short side but he had long rather messy looking hair, wore a red cape, white gloves with a strange symbol on them, and all black aside from his orange tinted glasses and straw hat which seemed really out of place. He didn't even wear sandals like most other people did, no he wore black shoes that seemed rather fancy looking.

"Nice ship you got here." Luffy said looking at the pirates around him, one on the floor unconscious, two staring at him in shock and disbelief, and the third was…

"Do you have pink hair?" Luffy asked looking at the boy in amusement and disbelief.

"Y-yes sir." The pink haired boy said timidly and making Luffy crack up.

"Who the hell do you think you are?! We're part of the Alvida pirates you asshole!" One of the pirates with a sword said making Luffy look at him with a grin still on his face. That grin looked really creepy with his eyes hidden by the glasses and the straw hat on his head didn't distract from it.

"Me? I'm a fuck mothering vampire pirate." Luffy said causing the men to look confused but scared when Luffy grinned wide enough to show his fangs. The two ran off while Luffy looked back at the pink haired wimp.

"Soo? Got any wine around here? Preferably red. Or meat. Meat will work." Luffy asked making the pink haired boy nod timidly and lead the taller boy to the store room where there was plenty of meat for Luffy to eat. Of course the pink haired boy looked sick when he saw Luffy eat the meat _raw_.

"So…you're a spineless wimp who's also stupid? I eat guys like you for breakfast." Luffy said completely deadpan as he looked at Coby who had just told him about how he had gotten onto Alvida's ship by accident and wasn't brave enough to try and run away. Of course Luffy's casually stated remark, and the blood dripping down his chin from the raw steak, made Coby feel quite sick and scared.

"So why did you set out to sea Luffy-san?" Coby asked after regaining his voice although there was a noticeable tremor to it.

"Hm? I set out to sea for two reasons…to find someone and to become the King." Luffy said thinking about his reasons. He had to find her, had to find his other half. The only woman who could remotely come close to his power and control him at least a little bit. The only woman he had truly loved and respected as an equal. The one who his seals would react to, to show him it's her.

He had to find his No-Life Queen.

"King? The Pirate King? But that means you're after One Piece! It's impossible! Absolutely impossible!" Coby began to overreact to Luffy's calm statement, earning a smack on the head that was rather gentle in comparison to what he could have been hit by.

"Why'd you hit me?" Coby asked rubbing his head where he could already feel the knot forming. Even holding back and with his powers mostly sealed, Luffy could still leave a large whelp on someones head.

"You were annoying me and I don't eat wimpy cowards like you." Luffy said boredly before he moved his glasses down a bit to reveal his wine red eyes to Coby.

"Besides…even if they try to kill me for achieving or going after my dream…not only do I not die easily but I'd still fight for my dream even if it did cost me my life." Luffy said thinking about the woman who he belonged to and who belonged to him in return. He'd do anything for her, she need only mention it or ask. Of course he was never so obvious as to _say_ that of course. He was an asshole with a reputation to maintain.

"Do you think I can do it? Achieve my dream that is…I want to be a marine. A strong marine that brings in pirates like Alvida." Coby asked making Luffy shrug before he looked up as the ceiling creaked and fell in.

"Who do you want to arrest Coby?" A beached whale holding a club asked as she crashed through the ceiling, scaring Coby senseless.

"A-A-Alvid-" Coby began stuttering the womans name, looking as pale as death while Luffy stood up and brushed off his outfit casually.

"Hey Coward. Who's the ugly bitch?" Luffy asked looking at Coby while tilting his head towards Alvida, making everyone freeze in horror and shock as they stared at him.

"You little brat!" Luffy sighed as the woman raged, that was a woman wasn't it?, glancing at Coby he decided he'd do his good deed of the year. Grabbing the boy, Luffy tossed him up through the hole onto the deck none to gentle before jumping up there himself.

"Coby who is the most beautiful woman on the seas?" Alvida demanded making Luffy blink behind his glasses.

"That's a woman?" Luffy asked looking at the gaping pirate crew while Coby seemed to finally find his backbone.

"NOT YOU CAUSE YOU'RE AN UGLY OLD HAG!" Coby yelled at the top of his lungs making Luffy smirk as he decided to fill his quota of good deeds for the next few years. Pushing Coby aside and dropping his hat and glasses he took the mace to the head and caused Coby to pale when the head splattered like a smashed fruit, blood and gore going everywhere.

"You're ne…" Alvida trembled when she noticed something wrong. The beheaded body wasn't moving. It wasn't falling like it was supposed to. It was just standing there in the same position.

"You done goofed." Luffy said as his hand moved the mace away and his head reformed on his shoulders as he bent down to pick up his glasses and hat again.

"How…How the hell did you do that?" Alvida asked backing away with a visible look of fear on her face.

Luffy looked almost amused as he answered her, causing Coby to faint along with half of the pirates.

"Fuck you that's how."


	2. Chapter 2

**1 Piece Vampire**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

"So you're Zoro…for someone called a demon I expected better." Luffy said looking at the pirate hunter who was hanging on the cross.

"Like I care what you expect. Get lost. You're an eye sore." Zoro said coldly to Luffy who just grinned at him.

"I hear you're an unstoppable demon swordsman…in the East Blue that is. Not that it says much." Luffy said making Zoro look at him with a dark glare on his face that just amused the red caped bastard.

"What do you mean?" Zoro demanded glaring at Luffy who shrugged a bit.

"East Blue is the weakest sea. So if you're the best East Blue has to offer that means you'll be the worst out of the best of the other blues and a nobody on the grand line." Luffy said casually earning a brief shocked look and then a look of utmost anger.

"As soon as this month is over I'm going to kill you. I'm going to become the greatest Swordsman in the world no matter what sea I come from." Zoro said glaring hatefully at Luffy who just laughed at him.

"Oh but I'm right here and you're tied up. How do you expect to kill me? There's not a lot of things that can you know?" Luffy said antagonizing the man and not giving a fuck about it.

"You're a pain in the ass." Zoro glared at Luffy only for Luffy to grin at him.

"Only for my Queen. She's quite strict on who I'm allowed to be with." Luffy said almost perversely and making Zoro blink slightly and blush just a bit.

"Queen? You some kind of noble?" Zoro sneered at the red caped asshole.

"Fuck no. I'm just going to be the King. I just have to find my Queen again and then we'll go from there. We got separated." Luffy said shrugging slightly while Zoro stared at him in confusion and disbelief.

"Later I'm going to find something to drink." Luffy said walking off unbothered and causing Zoro to stare at him in disbelief as the man tossed the rice balls into the green haired swordsmans mouth without even looking.

"Oh a wimpy little daddy's boy about to go back on his word? My I wonder what swordsman-san would say about this." Luffy said more amused than anything as he heard Helmeppo bragging about how his father would kill Zoro by the end of the week.

A bit of his original personality took over as Luffy appeared in front of Helmeppo and decked him through several walls.

"Oops. Oh well. Time for me to take a walk." Luffy said smirking although he left a small, to him at least, stack of berries to pay for the damage. He might be an asshole but the people of this shop were barely surviving as it was and they gave him a rather nice bottle of wine for free.

"Well aren't you in a predicament?" Luffy asked as he appeared before Zoro again with a small smirk on his face.

"You again?" Zoro growled making Luffy smirk slightly wider.

"I just heard some interesting information. Rather juicy stuff too. The marines have no intention of keeping their end of the bargain. They're planning on killing you at the end of the week." Luffy said making Zoro look at him sharply and growl. The guy was an asshole and hard to read with those glasses on his face, but he was being honest and open right now which could only mean he was telling the truth.

"Damn and I can't do anything without my swords." Zoro growled to himself but Luffy had some very sharp ears.

"I'll make you a deal. I get your swords from the marine base and if you want them back you have to join my crew." Luffy said smirking and making Zoro glare darkly at him.

"That's dirty!" Zoro growled but didn't argue making Luffy grin widely at him, showing pointed teeth.

"I'm a fuck mothering pirate! What do you expect?" Luffy asked freaking Zoro out with his pointed teeth.

"Just who are you?" Zoro asked as Luffy began to walk towards the Marine Base as if he were strolling through the woods.

"Oh I go by many names. StrawHat, Bastard, Demon of the Night, Blood-Sucker, King of Darkness, stuff like that. My favorites are Alucard and Crimson Fucker though my real name is Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy the No-Life King." Luffy said tipping his hat just a tiny bit as he looked back for a second before continued on his way, vanishing in a burst of pure speed as the pink haired Coward tried to untie Zoro's bonds.

"Let's see if I were an arrogant spoiled brat where would I be?" Luffy whistled as he strolled through the base, noting how empty it seemed before locating all but one heartbeat on the roof before disappearing again.

"Hey guys what's up?" Luffy asked appearing on the roof and standing on the edge of a statue that was leaning over the side of the base.

"There! That's the man that hit me father!" The blond spoiled brat in question said pointing at Luffy who looked at the statue under his feet as he strolled across it as casual as you please before ending up on the roof.

"Man this thing is ugly. Did you want a hug?" Luffy asked looking at the statue and then at the man it represented, earning a tick mark on the forehead from the captain.

"I am Captain Axe-Hand Morgan the strongest-"

"Oh? So you're stronger than a Vice-Admiral? An Admiral? The fleet Admiral even?" Luffy asked grinning wickedly and making Morgan growl at him and sweat a bit.

"I am the stronges-" Morgan began to say again only to be cut off when Luffy drew a pistol that was obviously customized and must have weighed at least ten pounds and calmly blew a hole right through the statue with a single bullet.

All the marines were gaping and pale at what the single bullet had done to the solid stone statue before Luffy gave them a bored almost trolling look as he spoke.

"I'll play with you later. Right now I'm looking for something. You! Bitch boy! Lead me to Zoro's swords."

Luffy was pointing right at a rather pale Helmeppo who had a large knot on his head and bruise on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**1 Piece Vampire**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

"Which one of these is yours?" Luffy asked Zoro casually, ignoring the bullets hitting him and blowing chunks of his flesh off by Morgan's orders as they stood in the execution yard. Luffy pretended not to notice the fact that he was shielding Zoro and Coby both with his own body as bits of himself were blown away by the guns and regrew instantly. If anyone ever pointed it out or asked, he'd cheerfully either eat them or tell them that they were imagining it depending on who it was.

"All of them. What the hell _are_ you?" Zoro asked staring at the man in shock as Luffy looked slightly surprised at hearing all three swords belonged to the green haired man.

"Vampire, Pirate, Play boy, King, Master, Captain…take your pick." Luffy shrugged slightly while Zoro sweat dropped at some of those. What the hell did he mean by King, Master, and Vampire? Surely he didn't mean the old myths of bloodsucking bat-human people did he?

"…What the hell?" Zoro obviously wasn't the only one who was confused by the titles or the apparent immunity to bullets since it was more than one marine that said that at the same time.

"Fine if bullets won't work we'll use blades." Captain Axe-Hand ordered making Luffy snicker as he looked back at the marines.

"Those won't work on me either but sure have your fun." Luffy said giving the soldiers what could only be called a troll look as he turned back to Zoro as if there weren't marines hell bent on killing him approaching with swords and an axe.

"Here you go. Now you have to join my crew." Luffy said smirking as he easily cut off the ropes on one of Zoro's hands and handed him the swords just as the marines tried to cut Luffy down without him bothering to dodge. He didn't need too and it wasn't just because Zoro had used the three blades to block every single blade of the marines.

"Tch. Fine looks like I'm a pirate now. Being the best swordsman in the world is my dream, if you get in the way of that even once…I'll make you apologize at the end of a sword. Understand?" Zoro asked through the hilt in his mouth, making Luffy snicker.

"Sure I'd expect nothing less from the Pirate King's right hand." Luffy said casually not bothered at all by the threat as Zoro knocked all the marines away in an instant.

"You…you ate one of the Devil Fruits didn't you?" Captain Axe-Hand asked staring at Luffy who tipped his hat back a bit and looked at the man through his yellow tinted glasses.

"Uh-huh." Luffy said ignoring the subsequent explanation of Devil Fruits from the man, although Zoro paid close attention.

"Don't see why you're surprised, there's plenty of Devil Fruit users around. I'm not the only one in this sea even although they _are_ more common on the Grand Line than in the Blues." Luffy said telling him what he knew from Shanks…and from randomly flying around sometimes when he was bored. Hey Ace made him promise not to _set sail_ until he was 17, not visit other areas. He was trying to find his queen damnitt! Oh and the Police Girl too.

"So there are more people like you on the Grand Line?" Zoro asked narrowing his eyes and making Luffy snicker slightly. Oh god his queen and the police girls reactions to there being more of _him_ would be fucking hilarious.

"Well each fruit is different. Some guy named Whitebeard has quaking powers, another I've heard of can turn into solid diamonds, I think there were rumors of some lady with _Soul_ powers too. Hell even the marines have people with Devil Fruit powers in them! Mainly Vice-Admirals and higher but there are some Captains and all like the guy in Logue Town, Smokey." Luffy said ticking some of the people he's either seen from afar or heard of off of his fingers. Ah he'd have to go and visit good Ol' Smokey again, he was such a good sport last time. Of course last time Luffy had also made his lieutenant turn bright red and nearly got in her undergarments before Smoker arrived and went into papa bear mode.

"…What the hell kind of crew did I join?" Zoro asked staring at Luffy who grinned at him.

"A new one. Aside from me you're the only other member, although we will be getting more soon." Luffy said making Zoro face palm even as he tossed the marines away from him and his new captain when they tried to attack again on Morgan's orders despite how much they obviously were terrified of the demon in front of them…and for once they didn't mean Zoro!

"How are you so sure about that?" Zoro asked watching as his captain beat Morgan into the ground easily.

"Well there's that one person, the big tittied police girl. Although she's not a police girl anymore. Then one day we'll fine my Queen and her loyal butler… who knows might find Frenchie too. Wonder if the Catholics are here as well?" Luffy said casually although he murmured that last bit almost to himself almost amused at the thought and a bit eager. He wanted to fight Anderson again damnitt! Especially if he had some epic new abilities like Luffy himself did. Switching between an unkillable vampire and a bullet/electric/pretty much anything blunt proof rubber body? _Badass_.

"So where are we meeting them?" Zoro asked confused and earning a grin from Luffy that was anything but nice.

"Ms. Big titties is going to be joining up with us in Alabasta. My Queen and/or her butler will join with us after we find em. Frenchie…eh who cares. The Catholics…well…that'll be fun." Luffy said shrugging as he finished beating up on Morgan while Zoro knocked out Helmeppo with the flat of his sword when he tried to threaten Coby. Honestly the two of them weren't paying the marines around them much attention. Luffy could have beaten them all easily with the flaring of that strange pressure he seemed to have in this life time.

Well that or just unleashed his puppies on them. That would be fun.

Eh he'll save the hellhounds for a bigger more dramatic and appropriate battle. Their grand-debut should be met with screams of fear, rivers of blood, and the souls of the damned being sucked into his body for use further down the line against their own kin all while the fires of wrath swallowed and burned his enemies whole!

Eh maybe he was spending a bit too much time with Richard? Oh well the only one who would care would be his queen and she wasn't here yet now was she?

Luffy gave a dark malicious chuckle that oozed pain and damnation for some poor soul as he pictured what would happen if Richard were brought into this world of madness and chaos as well.

Ah that would truly break the Marines minds.


End file.
